33

Today a friend of my father came over to my house with her daughter asking me a few things on the legal profession itself. So, I explained to her what it takes to be a practitioner including the things that she needed to complete before being called to the Bar.
When they left, I wonder to myself. Where do I stand now? Technically I am still an employee of the Malaysian Government even though currently suspended. I want to move on but my hands are tied although options to resign are clearly in my mind. Maybe I’ll return to be a lawyer or keep pushing the sales of multi level marketing products to earn some income. At the age of 33 what do I achieve in life? I don’t even own a car (it was towed last few months because I can’t afford to pay monthly instalments); my so called ‘girlfriend’ left me when I was in trouble, banks keep chasing after me and to be honest I’m broke for almost 15 months now. It would be nice to see more than RM10 in my wallet at times but it seems impossible.
True even suspended I’m receiving half months pay but after deducting ANGKASA’s it left me with 0 incomes every month. How am I supposed to live? Is this what I get for dedicating 3 years in the judiciary? Even worse I volunteered to be based in Sarawak far away from my family. I seldom take leave and tried my very best to work day and night sometimes. I think I did a few good deeds back then but none of those matters. People will always remember the bad things u did irrespective of how many good ones credited to you.
My advice to fellow practitioner out there, If you’re thinking of joining the civil service please think twice. If I know things will happen to me when I join the service, I’ll rather be content with my normal life as a low profile practitioner who goes early morning in court and return home when the work is done. Different people have different battles in life – and if you are not experiencing what I’m being through now I think it would be unfair to pass any judgments!!!